Pondering....

I'm a little confused. With the events of recent, I've had to think so fricken much. Maybe I should have been a deeper thinker before, but I guess I just handled things as they came. Don't get me wrong, I am a planner. I like to know whats going on today, this week, next month, next vacation, the holiday, etc. However, most of me just 'assumed' so much as I have lived the last 10 years or so. For example, my feelings of what a relationship/partnership/marriage was. Here are my thoughts:
1. Having that special person that 'gets you' when many others don't
2. Knowing you are loved and accepted - faults and all - forgiven when you mess up, and talked to with why what you did hurt them
3. Having childhood friends, friends from before you met, or work friends that are accepted and encouraged - but including them now in your relationship whenever possible. Not forgetting that once in a while its fun to get away with that long time friend to be a child or young adult with and enjoy that special relationship too - all the while making sure your partner understands they are never to be a substitute of wanting to share time with you
4. A safe haven, when the storms of life are fierce
5. Companionship. Having a forever dance partner, secret keeper, audience to laugh at your jokes, and a secured date to all parties, plays and movies
6. Cheerleader for when you want to step out and apply for that job, go back to school, begin a new diet, or take up painting
7. Someone to be honest with you when you really shouldn't wear "those pants" out in public
8. Fellow dreamer of dreams and wishes. Listening to you and smiling at your innocent far off dreams - even if its to win the lottery, move to that cabin in the woods, or care for a garden
9. Sitting together - doing totally different things - but sharing the same space so every once in a while you can look over at the other with a smile knowing you are happy and content just "being"
10. Understanding that the other needs to sometimes have their time alone - taking a drive, going for a walk or bike ride, climbing a mountain, visiting mom, or even just sitting on the porch. Knowing that this time is for them to refresh and reflect and come back to love you even more.

I don't want to be alone. My desire is to have my constant companion. This is how I wish to live. This is how I need to live. This is what I expect.

Am I asking for too much or do you have a different idea of a lifetime commitment than I do? Hmmmm