forward

One day ends and another begins
sometimes you just have to exist to survive
just be awake and up and moving
and people will think you are happy

but inside you aren't

they will never know if you don't show them
don't let them see that they 'got to you'
and you can exist
and survival comes from simply existing

Summer days ....

August has always been the longest month of the year to me. It's too warm, TV shows are on hiatus, ice cream is too tempting and big bodies get overheated in the sun. August always seems to remind me of negative and for that it is my least favorite month. Weird how a certain time of year can change ones thoughts. I guess that's not so different if you think about November. November brings crisp breezes that flow through the air and is refreshing (to me). I am reminded of family with the holidays coming and seeing decorations and people smiling and greeting each other - usually a little friendlier.
It has been a weird few weeks. Who am I kidding, a crazy two 1/2 years! Some days things are amazing and wonderful and so happy that I am overwhelmed with the love that is all around me and the people who are so good to me.
Then....a day pops up and anxiety and panic consume me.
Today is one of those days. I begin my new job Monday and I hope that the tomorrows outing will wash away the heaviness. With Nikki's hand and the ocean in front of me there is much hope that it will. I'm just glad that my baby grand girl Jordynn is here with me today. She is the best medicine that I could ever have. I wonder if she will ever realize that because of her I am still on earth today?
I love you Jordynn Marie <3 p="">