Yup. It was Pride alright!

We went to Portland and enjoyed Pride weekend. I wished the weekend had been longer, but isn't that always the way it goes? I surprised Heather and upgraded our room at the Hilton to the Executive Tower.

Basically, the perks we got was a larger room, with a view of the city and bottled water and robes to use during our stay. I have to be honest, the robes were nice to have! The water was ok, but again nice to have had the bottled water to use for the awesome single coffee maker that we had. There was a fantastic work out room and pool, but alas we didn't have time to use either. Next time. :)

We got there in time to drop off the luggage then head down to the waterfront. The weather was fricken PERFECT! We got into the gate and stopped at all the booths-collecting free shit and ending that day at 6:00 both participating in a woman's sexual study. Not as fun as it sounds, however! haha! We answered many pages of questions then ended with a genetic testing of saliva. They send that sample in for further research based on your answers they line up types of women .... I really have no clue what or how they were doing the study, but it was interesting and both Heather and I did get $10 borders gift cards for this 30 minutes of our day :) After wards Heather and I went back to the Hilton and spent some time there before heading back to the water front meeting up with friends. It was so great seeing Little T and her new girlfriend! Kristen and Allison came along around 10 and we ended up back on Broadway having a drink outside and waiting for the naked bike riders. No, we didn't see them because they were on another route, and quite honestly I'm glad to have passed on that event! On our way back to our room around midnight, stopped to take this picture in the square:


Next time, I will finish our exciting story of pride - 2010 :)

Full of Pride

This week is Portland Pride Week. Meaning, the one week out of the year we can walk amongst all peoples and be who we are, who we wish we could be at other times other than "Pride". I want to walk with my partners hand in mine and not be concerned with the fact that I might be bothering someone. I want to kiss her on the mouth and give her a little hug when I feel the desire - just as all hetero couples can do at any time without anyone batting an eye. I have felt this pure joy and freedom at times in my life, and I call it heaven on earth. To be allowed to walk in this world has shown me a glimpse of times I hope to come. Now, don't think I'm being naive about Pride parades and the showman ship that goes on at the festival. Trust me, we are not all that shiney and want to stand out! However, I do enjoy being able to walk in my city and just be us...two woman, in love, living in peace, and not being any center of attention because the extremes are getting all the stares :)
Happy Pride to you my friends!

Trying to Shut My Mouth

I have so much going on in my head at all times of the day that I find myself almost paralyzed - stuck in thought. For someone like me who likes to talk and type and text...it can be dangerous! Sometimes I just open my mouth and the first thought I have comes out. Not good. I guess I really need to keep that under wraps more, and pay attention to the choice of words I use. You see, I am just being honest...but my honesty doesn't always align with those who are interested in 'my' honesty and would rather I keep it to myself! This happens at work. I know what I mean in my heart but the head and mouth mess up once in a while. So, note to self: Button up the lip and speak only about work matters and people won't have a reason to question you and your intentions.
That being said, I REALLY like to talk and write my stories! I once had a blog, a journal, that I wrote my feelings in. All through my life I've had diary type books and then I would type up my feelings and hide them all to myself. Then, when I ventured into the internet world I wrote stories to my special friends. I wrote stories and posted them also for all that I chose to read and see. I've always received high praises for my stories, however remember that those stories were still "under wraps". Now, with this blog and with facebook, I am beginning to find my voice again.
In my early teens I was afraid of so much. I was sad and lonely and very confused. I felt abandoned and off balance. In my 20's and early 30's I was a Banker, a Mother, a dedicated church goer and woman's ministry events leader, sports team mom, cub scout den leader, Avon Rep, PTA member, class room mom, and other various upstanding leadership positions. I was busy, oh how I was busy! We got a brand new house that I prided was clean as a whistle, I was the best wife ever, the best neighbor, friend and social butterfly - with lots of real but lots of FAKE people. I knew a lot of these people were fake. But, just like the fake boys from my teens who wanted in my pants, they liked me and that was all that mattered - so I thought. And I was fake too. I had my life aside from my family and that was becoming a heavy burden on me that I knew I had to release onto the world, but didn't really know how and was very scared to do so. I realized that my fakeness was painful and began to see my life needed to change up. I was scared though, and didn't know how to do this.
In my mid 30's things changed. It took MANY years for me to figure it out but by the time I was 38, I knew. I just needed to figure out how I was going to tell the world about the real WenDee!
I first changed the spelling of my name. Took on some kind of independence with changing it from Wendy to WenDee (The Dee part is after my grandma Dorothy Dee that I would have Loved to have known better. She had to hide her real self too much of her life). Making this little change in the spelling of my nick name was no big deal, so I thought! However most all of my family and some friends could not handle it. They made fun of the way I capitalized the D and how the name was spelled. I didn't care - wow, I DIDN'T CARE! A new concept, I was beginning to make changes that I knew were good for me and I was staying strong with doing so! Ok, so this was a little thing but looking back on it now this was huge.
I'm not saying my life just fell into place then, but that was the beginning and where I took charge of what I needed to do in my life. I began a 3 year run with a fabulous counselor, I went back to school, and I got a divorce. Slow steps, but they were still forward steps!
And so, my stories - some just typed words that describes me and my life - will go on. Here. In the public eye. If you do not want to read it because you are not interested, please feel free to stay away. This is for my curious ones. The ones that will appreciate what I have to say and what I've gone through and still go through in my life.
Till next time.