Dear Karla....I miss you

one

How can passion come in longing words
that carry to a distant meadow
like the tree that bravely feels the wind
a flower soaking up the constant sun rays
a fish swimming up the stream
all pulls that guide and nurse the craving
for the touches of such ways are true
nourishment for their very core of being

lightning comes in splashes across the sky
if you blink you might miss the brilliance
and yet the thunder comes before the light
giving warning to what is next to come
I hear your heart and feel your power
and know that in the next moment
the brilliance will pour across my soul
and directly into my heart will I pound

There are but hours minutes and seconds
that make up the day that turn to weeks
and into months
but time is but a glimpse of waiting days
until such the moment is right
then the two become one and there is
no more waiting
all plans together make perfect sense
and the glory is found when the sky dances
with sparkling stars and a moon
smiling in wonderment of love

Mouthful of Forevers

I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.

And I will not be afraid of your scars.

I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane.

Somethings come over me....

...and at times I feel like a little kid, or at least a teenager.
I'm looking at wedding gowns, honeymoon spots, and bridal sets!
I know, its not serious.....not yet.....but truly somethings come over me and it feels amazing!

I want to sell everything I have, almost, and move. Being in Oregon this last time reminded me once again of my deep love of Oregon. I need to be there, to go camping, to the mountains, to the place that makes me so happy. Nestled on the floor with lots of pillows and a fluffy rug...fire glowing, and the old house creaks as the one walks across the floor boards nearing me.

Again I'm needing to gather my patience and wait. I know the time is much closer than what I once thought. I know that some in my family will not understand how can I pull myself away from family, especially now. But hopefully they will come to realize that its just in me to be there - to take my last breath with the fresh memory of that magnificent sky line and the glorious snow capped Mt Hood. Time is not on my side, but I will ride it out as long as I can.

I'll be back.....my heart home