And then, I blink

I go through the day happy and singing a sweet song. Life has hurdles and I aim to jump over but at my age and condition I miss, a lot. But most of the time putting streeses aside, I'm feeling so in love and on cloud nine. But, there are those times I blink and I find I'm still just sad and a lonely little Wen. I am a failure, a reject, a troublemaker and a worthless space. It's in those blinks I find such utter disgust. This seconds that I'm reminded that people like me are not destined to find the happy boat and there really isn't anyone who Can understand me; who gets me and accepts me. My words and actions are not right and I shouldn't pretend to be a put together grown up. It's within these blinking times where darkness, I'm afraid, could take over. It's sad there. And I just wanna disappear. It's dark, very dark.