Shhhh...hush now...someone is talking to you
She is calling your name, can you hear her?
The young self, the one who wants to protect the current self
she has seen the torture you have put yourself through.
No one can rewrite history.
If you had known then, what you know now....
is but merely a saying that makes no sense.
For you will never know then what you have learned and gotten to know, now......
I'm sick of those who have hurt me and how the power of that pain is still haunting me --
they bullied me because i was an easy target and they were cunning
she pushed me away because she needed to find herself away from my shadow
he left and didn't turn back because he choose to be free of the burden
he left because he didn't know he would never come back
he molested me because he had the opportunity
he raped me because he knew i would never tell
she didn't protect me because she was a child still herself, left in a foreign territory
And as the years went by I thought I was safe. That I had run into the arms of safety, only to realize those arms were simply to protect, not provide all that was needed for thriving.
So I allowed my heart to be taken, only to later learn that it was the same - only the opposite - as what I had done those many years before. Oh the pain of rejection is as fresh today as it was before...only the words continue to haunt and rule my mind.
That is when the power of meditation and the reliance of my higher power...my God...who will warm me when cold and hold me when the tears are running as rivers down my face.
