There are times in my weight loss/recovery to better health that I just want to take a day off. I want to grab a bag of my favorite potato chips and just eat them one at a time until the bag is empty. I then want to take a new bag of Oreo's and dunk them in a large glass of milk and eat them until they are all gone. Then I think. Why? Why do I want to make myself look like I did again which everyone has commented on since how bad it was 'back then'? Well, I think because over eating those things that I enjoy most are my comfort places. They are the one true area that I could go to and be peacefully satisfied. I know this is weird to most people. You would think how can food make you find peace? I think its because there is nothing else that I can do which I am more used to do then eating wrong. I grew up eating crap. I ate lettuce leaves with sprinkled sugar and my mom called that salad. I ate graham crackers with frosting made of powder sugar and milk with food coloring and my mom called it after school snacks. I ate soda crackers (saltines) with butter and jam and mom called it my sandwich. I ate warm pudding with cream poured on top and sprinkled again with sugar and mom called it a simple dessert. Mom didn't mean to do this. But Mom did and it created a lifestyle of unhealthy eating choices.
I'm grown now (well, have been for 32 years!) so I should know better. But there are some days I want to be blind. Some days I'm so sad and lost and confused with why things keep popping up. I try to realize these are just normal daily occurrences that we just need to get past. However, some days are harder than others.
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