Today is a new Day. Why does it feel like its just a continuation of yesterday in my head? It was supposed to be all light and fluffy and clear this morning - however it is not. Today I realize that i hurt a lot of people yesterday and I don't know what to do about it. I woke up thinking that the alien me took over and now I have to fix the path of destruction I made. But then there is the other side of me that said...wait. I meant some of what I said! When I said I can't take it anymore, I meant I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER at that moment in time. My head was in a whirlpool. My hormones were out of control. My emotions were higher than normal. My heart was breaking. My indecision of what to do was too much to even concentrate on even the smallest of details or the most innocent of a comment made. I had to run away. But, I needed to run away from me and that was impossible! Instead I retreated, I cleaned my room, I took 3 xanex over 3 hours. Sigh. All I know right now this minute is that I love my partner beyond words. I love my children more than life. I feel bad for yelling at Chris and Jon. I regret the food choices I made yesterday. I am still tired. I am at work and have much to do. AND, I'm still dealing with the finance issues, my menopause issues, and all other issues that existed yesterday but I can't let that get to me like it did. I MUST control myself. Please God, help me today.
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