I am eating. I am consumed with the thought of eating. I keep thinking what can I eat? And then I eat. I play games with my food like, oh-its only so many calories, I can eat less later. Then later comes. And I eat more. I am on a destructive path. I need help. I am a mess both mentally and physically now. I am a mess emotionally and spiritually. I am a mess just existing. I must find some relief that will not endanger myself or others.

I will get back to my crocheting.

I will find a therapist.

I will drink only tea and not coffee.

I will clean the house.

I will take the dogs for a walk.

I will ride my bike.

I will ... I will ... I will go back to bed for a while and pick this up .. later.