Guess what?

I admit it.....

I don't think I deserve to be alive.

I don't think anyone will miss me long, after a couple of months I will vanish from everyone's memory.

So, God. Do you hear me? I'm ready. 

There isn't anything left of me that I can give to anyone.

Jordynn.......she will remember her punkety wunkety Grammy. Jason will tell her the stories.

Evan will remember how much I love and adore him.

Jason knows that it is HIS life for the purpose of my birth, he will continue to bless others. My mission is done.

Mom has lost 2 of her 4 children. She's used to her kids dying on her. Mom is strong.

To my bio dad....fuck you. You fucking walked the fuck away from me and tossed me aside.

I hate you for neglecting me and not reaching out to me. I hate you for letting your wife rule your head and hurt me and my family in the process.

To my friends.................you know I just can't do this
To Nikki.....why did you even bother to love me? I'm un-lovable and I'm sorry I hurt your heart

I can't keep trying to make other people happy when all I do is hurt them.

I am a waste of space and don't deserve a second look. 

I never did.

I hate me