A continuum

Valentines Day - 2014

What does this day mean? Why do we celebrate such an event with more candy giving, more money spent on ugly stuffed animals, flowers that die and elaborate dinners with gorging of drink and dessert .. Pink and Reds everywhere, with glitter that sticks to all surfaces and poems that mean nothing

Well, without having a sweetheart, I can tell you why.

Because it is the idea. The idea of love and that you matter and that you are special and deserving. You are praised and cherished and adored and worth 'every penny' and then some. You are held in high regard and told you are important and freely given smiles and warmth and hugs and ..... love

I started yesterday with praising me. I began a dance with WenDee. I was kind and gentle and loving and full of praise. I was patient with her and held her and yes, treated her just as a princess should be treated. I smiled at her reflection and soothed her skin after her cry...bathing in bath beads kept for only those special occasion. It was a special occasion, it was honoring me. The me that is so deserving.

This Valentines day I woke in a haste, for I had not slept long. Remembering the very late night which was a short time ago and how the eve flowed into the early morning hour....the crying....the holding....the words the time spent. And just like the day before, I freely gave to myself in a caring manner, primping and honoring me. Today was my day, it belonged to no one else.

In the morning as I went to work, I walked through the rows and rows of beautiful flowers. Roses and carnations and daisy's and hibiscus. The reds and yellows and oranges and pinks...soft pinks, bold pinks, bright pinks. Yes, pink is my color. I gathered the group as it called out to me and put them into the vase which sat proudly on my desk. Throughout the day every time I looked over I was reminded how special and important I was - to myself. To my inner being. To my God. To my younger being. There nestled close to that vase was a heart shaped pink box filed with chocolate delights. Purchased for one person, thoughts of only her. They were meant to sit in memory of the sweet tastes of life that I have lived. Every chocolate to me represented a year. Happy years, sad years, growing years, loving years. I gave thought through the day of where my life is now, how I got here, and where I want to go. What is my passion now, who matters to me and who will be allowed to have a part of me - even if only in friendship. I have a right to decide if I shall allow them in; bringing them to the place that reveals Me. I will protect that spot, She deserves the scrutiny of the selection of whom is allowed.

The day ending perfect with my little family of my son and daughter in law and granddaughter. This perfect set of 4, so much love, lots of giggles, joy over flowing.

This is life. My life. Life as it is today.

I will choose every day how life will be lived - it is up to me and no one can take that from me.

Goodnight