Happy Birthday Wen

They say its your birthday.....gonna have a good time

I'm now age 52 and living at my parents home...wha?? huh??
Well, I am for 'now'
The loss of my long term partnership and then my sister dying has brought me home to where I am. But, I'm OK with being back in So Cal because of the wonderful friends and the family that I have left are here.

Well, all but my biological father. Did I mention that this asshole who I've bent over backwards to reach out to since Karla died hasn't emailed me, called me, of sent me a card or letter? Yes. Such a fucking prick. He's incapable of showing love or responding in a human manner or to suck it up with your stupid Norwegian pride and reach out to your daughter who you've fucked over since May 2, 2010.
Today I was excited (for some odd reason) to got the mail. I thought for sure after all my attempts I would get a card from him. Nope.
FUCK YOU ROBERT AMUNDSON. I am not your daughter any longer. I don't give a shit if you are an old man. Not too old to call my last living sibling. Not too old to care about her, her husband and her family. Me? My family? They are DEAD to you. You fucking go on cruises, out to eat, visit friends, go shopping, do yard work, have parties....you are not too old to fucking type two lines in an email, at the least. And, you are not too old to put a stamp on a purchased card, even if you only sign it: Love Dad. Are you too old to realize what you've done to this daughter who is still alive? Who you screwed over as a child, then a teen and into adult hood?
Is WenDee ever gonna give up or give it a rest - knowing what she had in her biological parents - and the fact that it was what it was?

I don't think so. My mother made a ton of mistakes, but she owned up to them. She asked for forgiveness. She reached to me in countless ways to encourage me, to love me, to accept me, to show me that she was only human but took responsibility for her mistakes as a mother. This is called forgiveness.

I will push on, I have no choice and I cannot let him continue to push me down in my life. Look, age 52 and still concerned about her "Daddy" and how he feels about her? I am DONE. I am walking away from HIM.


*update 3:00 PM*

So, he called me. "got your birthday card today, sorry i didn't get yours in the mail yet. i'll mail it tomorrow. i didn't have your mothers address. i've been busy with this friend, and doing that with my wife, and gee, um, so look for my card in the mail soon. ok, don't want to use up your cell phone minutes so i'll say goodbye. bye."

click

what the fuck ever. please, don't bother. i really don't want a birthday card 5 days late and only sent because of some guilt factor you had because i happen to have sent you an early birthday card. gee. wonder if you hadn't gotten my birthday card until sept 30th when it was your birthday. would you have called me then? would you have 'forgotten' to have sent out a card? would you have pretended to have cared?
no
no
no

I am walking away from that which has caused me pain
I need to separate myself with those who have done me wrong
I have forgiven, I cannot forget, and the hurt is reopened every time I give it my attention in my mind
People can be fucking mean and cruel.
People are hurting and they hurt others, but I have the choice to not be in their hurting path

I can't do this alone, I am well aware.

Today its my birthday ... I have the next year to accomplish much. To those who have done me wrong, watch out. Karma is a fucking bitch and so am I.